Conquering my fear of freelancing

Can I do freelancing? This is the most dreadful question I am about to answer. I always have this fear in the back of my head that I could not do this. I can not do freelancing. But here I am, in front of my computer typing this blog, letting you know that I will be facing my greatest fear that I will be leaving my comfort zone, that I am doing a leap in a career shift, I am doing freelancing. I heard about freelancing when I was in college, the year 2013 I guess. When my professor told me that a friend of hers was doing an accounting job at home, My initial reaction was, “Wow! Is it possible to just be at home and work? What was it called, freelancing?” That was just it. I never thought of freelancing again. Right after college, I worked in a construction firm as an Administrative Officer, then I became a Call Center Agent, then a Virtual Professional for a New York-based company. I was in my comfort zone. I love my job, my workmates but I notice I was not growing as a person. I did not climb the corporate ladder. I was stuck being an agent - for years I was never a step ahead.

Conquering my fear of freelancing

Then I heard one of my batchmates is freelancing, working anywhere with just her laptop with her. In my head, I wanted to be like her! I wanted to be a freelancer. I wanted to work at home or to travel and bring my job with me. But I can’t do it. I’m afraid that I’ll fail. And besides, I do not own a laptop and I do not have a stable internet connection. I have all the reasons to convince myself that freelancing is not for me. I am hopeful but more doubtful. Although those reasons for me not to try were running back and forth on my mind, I made an effort to try freelancing. I applied for a loan to buy a laptop and put up a budget for an internet plan. Then I created a profile on Onlinejobsph and I tried submitting a profile on Upwork. Those two were one of the biggest freelancing platforms for all freelancers here in the Philippines. I am excited that finally I am doing the first step to be a freelancer but it came with sad news, my Upwork profile was not approved. I was downhearted. I'm just on step one and I failed right away. What will happen to me if this goes further? I will not do this again. I can’t be freelancing. To work at home, to travel will just be a dream. Two years went by and nothing has changed. I am still an office-based virtual professional. Suddenly, I was put on a bench program due to an account lay-off. I was not prepared for this. I know that my job is not permanent but not this soon. How can I provide for myself and my family? How can I help with my brother’s tuition fee and academic needs? How can I survive?

The dream is to travel and work

Then I remembered the most dreadful question I asked myself two years ago. Can I do freelancing? I reached out to the most admired Freelancing Training Academy - Filipino Virtual Assistance. I enrolled in their Freelancing Course - The lessons and the coaching helped me a lot. I’m currently in my third week and I have big hopes now. I still have my doubts and my fear is as huge as the moon. I am always afraid of the unknown but with my coach’s help -Miss Grace I am slowly building confidence. I am starting to believe that I can be big. Reality is the beginning will always be the hardest. And now I am starting to face my great fear - going out of my comfort zone and going back to chasing my dream of being a freelancer. I know, two years ago, I gave up too soon. But now, I am taking this seriously with the hope that I could help not just myself but also other people who need my freelancing services. I can gain friends that are in the same industry. Everything is new and fresh. I am just in step one and I still have a long way and more fears to conquer.

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